welcome home. it sucks here.
My last post was on January 7th. It was clear, cold, and windy with no indication that, in just a few weeks, we would be a different city….a different people. Why? Well, in case you haven’t been paying attention to the news, the posts, the tweets, the memes, or Buzzfeed, Boston has had a lot of snow. So what’s the big deal? Boston is a tough, winterized city where people go jogging in sub zero temps and frostbite is a badge of honor. Nothing keeps us down. We can handle just about anything. Until now.
Now, on February 19th, we are transformed. We’ve seen 95.7 inches of snow since my last post and there’s more on the way. The landscape is desolate, transportation is shut down, and people shuffle along un-shoveled sidewalks and crowded roads in alternating states of shock and resignation. It looks not unlike a zombie apocalypse only we’re not eating each other, yet. We’re also not speaking to each other, not politely anyway, and lately we get into fist fights over whose space saver lamp that is, and God forbid you ask someone how was their day.
You’ve heard the term, “misery loves company.” She doesn’t. Misery wants to be left the fuck alone in her dark, cold apartment until April. Misery just wants this shit show to be over but it just.won’t.stop. Misery can’t go anywhere besides work, Star Market, and home. Misery can’t remember what her neighbors look like. Misery is sick of shoveling and shelling out hundreds of dollars for plowing (grateful though she may be), and taking ten minutes to put on enough clothes to go outside.
Our Mayor has asked us to please stop jumping out of windows into the snow. Would he rather us just jump out a window? I’m close, because humans were not meant to live this way. I mean, just look at all the people lined up outside this real estate office!
But, if all the media attention isn’t enough or you’ve been in space for the last few weeks, here’s some of my favorite snow porn for your amusement.
What record-breaking snow really looks like
My point is this. We have become a tired, angry people with little regard for our fellow man. Right now, outside my window, Boston is taking “Masshole” to a new level. One that is both frightening and fascinating. It is a test of our mettle. So come April, when the mountains of snow are but molehills, we will see who is left standing and who is beaten. And may the survivors rise up and regain their sense of humanity, get the trains running, fix the roads, and start to build a Brave New World.
P.S. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE before I lose my mind and go on a spree….killing, looting, or shopping, take your pick.