fun for all ages!

My parents are coming to visit from Texas and in my efforts to find an appropriate leaf-peeping trip, I came across a most interesting destination: Satan’s Kingdom Wildlife Management Area.   Holy crap, I’ve struck gold.  I don’t even need to research what they actually do because in my mind they do one thing.  They harbor all of the “wildlife” that humans are terrified of, including snakes, wolverines, stinging insects, tree roaches, rats, komodo dragons, flying monkeys in waistcoats and hats, dolls, clowns, and ventriloquist dummies (which are technically dolls but on a whole different level)
Whoa!  Just look at this if you don’t believe me.  This is an excerpt from their site:


The Enchanted Forest: A Non-scary Halloween Event
“Animal Wonders” Cool Things We’ve Learned from Animals
Friday & Saturday, October 25 & 26, 5–8:30pm
Pre-registration is a must as this event fills early.
Come to the Enchanted Forest for a magical treat. You will be led along our pumpkin lit forest trails where creatures will emerge to share their stories. This year’s theme is Animal Wonders, we will meet animals that have fascinating adaptations that have taught  us humans a thing or two. Fun for all ages

1.  What about this is “non-scary?!”

2.  Why is “Animal Wonders” in quotation marks?  Are they not wonderful?  Are they not animals?

3.  What are these “cool things we’ve learned from animals”, because all I see is a band geek in a turtle suit with viscera hanging from it’s mouth.  Again, what about this is non-scary?

4.  If I am walking along a “pumpkin lit forest trail” and a creature emerges to share its story, I’m calling the police.  Sorry woodland creatures, you’re cute and everything, but don’t talk to me.

5.  Satan’s Kingdom Wildlife Management Area absolutely must be a front for some anti government separatist group or super conservative Jesus freakshow because if it’s not, then I need answers.

P.S. It reminds me of a place I used to visit as a child called Devil’s Den.

Fun for all ages!

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The devil is in the details.

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