Santa or Chocolate?
By now you’ve seen the commercial where Santa and the M&Ms come face to face and Santa faints because he discovers that they are real. Here is the conversation that ensued.
Me: Would you be more scared if you came downstairs in the middle of the night and saw Santa or talking M&Ms?
Me: Really? Why?
Rebecca: Because M&Ms aren’t going to rape me. They are bringing me chocolate.
Me: Santa isn’t going to rape you, he would never rape anyone!
Rebecca: Yeah, but I could punt an M&M.
Me: You could punt ONE, but what if there were a whole group of like, green ones? They travel in groups.
Rebecca: Santa could punt the other ones.
Lesson: Maybe we should all just stay in bed and stop trying to catch Santa in the act because you’re either going to surprise a serial rapist, or a gang of talking candy. The police aren’t likely to believe either story.