Dear Whole Foods

Here’s some grocery haiku.  Because I resent having to go there.
Oh, Whole Foods Market
To bask in two dollar limes
Where is this fruit from?!
While keeping it real
You forgot to check the dates
All our bread has mold
Local produce, yay!
Connecticut and Jersey?
Um, we don’t live there.
You should start a bank
My whole check you get weekly
Wicked expensive
Hipsters in my way
In the checkout with iPhones
Your status can wait
I just want some salt
Not from another planet
Just some fucking salt
And a limerick…
On aisle number 4 you will find
Fresh coffee and spices to grind
Both exotic and bland, from far away lands

So pretentious it boggles the mind


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The devil is in the details.

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